7 Characteristics Of People In Need Of Love

People in need of love are those who have probably grown up deprived of affection and emotional closeness. Those who expected the warmth of a few hugs, the support of a few words full of love or who simply didn’t feel sufficiently involved by the people around them.

Those who have lived in the absence of affection grow up waiting to see their wound healed. The problem is that they tend to believe that others will be responsible for it, when in reality it is acceptance and the seed of self-love that can heal them.

Therefore, being loved becomes a necessity. While in principle there is nothing wrong with striving for love, in this case there is a distortion that leads to a false goal: to compensate for the lack of childhood love and repair the damage to self-love, awakened by lack, with another person.

Thus, people lacking in love often end up  generating situations that, far from filling  their emptiness, increase and deepen it. It is a complex psychological condition that requires professional help.

Characteristics of people in need of love

1. Obsession with affection

For those in need of love, affection has disproportionate dimensions. They come to believe that everything else is irrelevant. When they receive expressions  of affection from someone, an internal fire starts.

They have a hard time letting affection flow smoothly. The possibility of receiving affection from someone makes them feel very anxious. They are thrilled and terrified at the same time. They often turn affection into an obsession .

2. Try to control the other

A very common characteristic of people in need of love is that when they find affection  in someone, they become possessive and controlling. Your goal in itself is not to control someone else’s life, but to avoid suffering.

Not very consciously, they tend to believe that keeping an eye on their loved one will prevent them from losing them. The fear of being abandoned  or betrayed, as a result of their wound, leads them to a desire for control that, precisely, can lead to wear and tear or even the end of the relationship.

3. Are demanding

For someone who has not received genuine love, it is very difficult to believe that someone else loves them. Therefore, they demand constant displays of affection. This makes them very demanding with their partner or with whom they have an affectionate bond.

This results in continual testing and recriminations. “I needed you there, but you weren’t.” “I wanted you to do something special and you didn’t”… It’s as if they think that it’s only love when the feeling is absolute and unconditional, something that not even a mother can always provide.

4. Beg affection

People in need of love are very demanding but, at the same time, excessively permissive. They tend to hold out beyond what is acceptable. Anything is better than losing a loved one and therefore they become able to go beyond themselves.

If they see signs that the other is moving away, they show themselves capable of doing anything to avoid losing him. They are convinced that they are worth very little and that only the other gives meaning to their lives. Therefore, they even tolerate abuse if necessary.

5. They sacrifice themselves in excess

Those who have not been loved enough bring a certain drama and suffering to love without it being necessary. They are so grateful that someone loves them that they don’t save time to make sacrifices for the person who offers them affection.

Sometimes love involves sacrifices, it’s true. But in this case, things are taken to the extreme. This means that they even  act as if the other is the only one with rights and privileges. As if the other’s only duty was to receive, not give.

6. Don’t trust each other

Try as they might, those who carry the weight of lack of love within them cannot trust the other. They have a suspicion that involves their end-to-end love relationships. What they think is not that they love them, but that they will abandon or harm them.

The mistrust they experience is so strong that they come to see what is good as bad, what is positive and negative. They are determined to find ulterior motives, hidden motives, or evidence of falsehood. It’s part of their brutal need not to be hurt.

7. Tolerate the intolerable

What is intolerable is any form of ill-treatment and abuse. Unfortunately, the vicious circle of lack of affection leads many people in need of love to allow such behavior in those with whom they believe they have a loving bond.

In reality,  they cannot define where the line is between a disagreement or conflict and an abuse situation. Sometimes they are just barely angry. At the same time, they are able to admit that they compromise their physical or psychological integrity.

All these patterns constitute a paradoxical situation. People in need of love must find that affection to soothe the emptiness that inhabits them. But the lack of self-love leads them, again and again, to fall into the clutches of a broken heart. Thus, under these conditions, professional intervention is required.