Is It Possible To Correct The Behavior Of Naughty Children?

“He doesn’t obey me” , “I’m unable to teach him how to behave” , “He throws a tantrum all the time” , “I don’t know what to do anymore” … These are the phrases that many parents repeat when faced with the behavior of naughty children . No matter how hard they try to put everything they know into practice, nothing seems to work.

Lack of boundaries and rules is a frequent cause behind children’s misbehavior. However, other factors may also appear that favor this type of conduct.

Impose consistent limits and rules

To correct the behavior of naughty children, limits are necessary. These limits must be coherent and consistent in their application, as well as sensitive to the context in which they are applied. What does that mean? That limits are useful if they are a reference for the little ones, doubling their value when they understand that they exist to prevent them from entering into situations of risk or threat.

The Spanish Association of Pediatrics links this to confinement. In difficult situations, it is common to allow children to go beyond the limits, in addition to trying to compensate for their discomfort through concessions and material goods. This type of attitude can be very dangerous when the variations in limits are not clear.

Reinforcement is better than punishment in dealing with naughty children’s behavior

Many naughty children (and well-bred ones) are unaware that there is a very positive part to their behavior. This is because they only get attention when they misbehave. When they do something well, they receive the worst punishment in return: the indifference of their personality references. So, often, they misbehave to receive the attention they so much desire, even if not in the way they would like.

On the other hand, when children receive positive reinforcement for good behavior incompatible with misconduct (for example, when we recognize that they handled the argument they had with their sibling well, as opposed to cursing or assaulting), this causes are taught in two valuable ways. First, they learn what to do and what not to do. And finally, if you get a boost after your personal initiative, it strengthens your confidence and your self-concept.

When implementing the reinforcers, it doesn’t matter that the good behaviors are very small actions. The important thing is that this way of educating begins to be more relevant than punishment. The first advantage is that the dynamic changes. Organize the bedroom, hug the younger brother, do the homework without complaining, turn off the television at the right time… It is important to value all these initiatives.

On the other hand, this way of educating is also much more positive for parents. The possibility of rewarding a child produces much more satisfaction than imposing punishments and witnessing their sufferings. In other words, it is possible to educate with intelligence, removing the variable of suffering.

Discipline is compatible with love

Naughty children can cause many parents to lose their temper. However, this is the time when adult self-control must prevail. This can be very difficult at times, especially if the parents are tired when they just got home from work and haven’t had a good day. Therefore, we want to offer some strategies that can be applied systematically:

• Children need unconditional affection from their parents (you can’t negotiate with love): that’s why the Spanish Pediatric Association recommends an education based on the reinforcement we’ve already talked about.
• Encourage them to express themselves: it is common to use phrases such as “shut up” , “enough” or “I don’t like your behavior” to naughty children. However, if instead we encourage them to express themselves and show how best to get them heard, we will be educating. Indirectly, we will be saying that there are better ways than violence.
• If they are very upset, it is better not to interact: this is advice applicable to adults themselves. Interacting when emotions run high is not good. So parents can explain to children that when they calm down, they can talk. We should encourage them to express their emotions and feelings.

• No to emotional blackmail! Emotional blackmail is not love, let alone discipline. Offering a candy for children to change their behavior is a dynamic that causes many problems. Furthermore, it teaches children to relate in this way, which is not healthy.

If parents use these strategies, perhaps they can find out why their children are naughty. We consider that a behavior ceases to be reproduced when the motivation for this behavior disappears, or when there are other behaviors in which the interest is greater.

Technology advances, knowledge advances, and education, with its resources, too. In this sense, educating the little ones was still a challenge, but it would be untrue to say that we do not have the knowledge so that the results of this process do not generate what we popularly call “naughty children”.

Thus, today we know that unconditional love is compatible with discipline  and that affection and active listening are not opposed to establishing and respecting rules. We know that education is not a matter of black and white, but of a gray scale that challenges us to move intelligently through it.