The Two Faces Of Shyness

Being shy doesn’t mean having a flaw, nor does it mean having a virtue. It is simply a personality trait that depends on temperament and type of experience. Despite this, many see shyness as a problem that needs to be nipped in the bud, with no other alternative.

It is true that those who are shy experience several limitations in social situations. He cannot break the ice to start a conversation, nor is he comfortable talking about himself, and this can have a negative impact on his relationships with others.

Shyness arises from a lack of self-assurance, a feeling of not being worthy of the attention or consideration of others, or feeling that one has no right to be recognized. Thus, the shy person feels ashamed of himself and values ​​the opinions of others highly.

However, this by no means means that those who are shy are doomed to failure.  The fact that you are not resourceful in social relationships has little to do with what you can achieve in the intellectual, professional or emotional sphere. In fact, there are times when being shy is an advantage. Let the various characters in the story say that they achieved great achievements despite their shyness.

Shyness: a characteristic of great personalities

It is said that Agatha Christie, the famous mystery writer, had an unusual episode for her shyness. In 1958 a party was held in her honor at London’s sophisticated Savoy Hotel. When she arrived at this place the doorman did not recognize her and therefore did not let her enter.

She didn’t feel able to antagonize this airborne doorman, so without a word she turned and went to sit in the living room. From there he heard the celebration on his behalf. At that time she was 67 years old and had more than 60 books published around the world.

Charles Darwin, for his part, trembled like a leaf when he had to speak in public. He didn’t feel able to face an audience. English actor Dick Bogarde was spectacular on stage, but very shy before facing the audience.

Shyness, introversion and tragedies

There are shy and shy. Some take this feature to an unexpected extreme. For example, Dr. Henry Heimlich, who devised an emergency maneuver to save the life of a choking person, said that many people die from being shy. When they feel that they are drowning, they prefer to withdraw from the group than go through the pain of coughing and attracting too much attention.

We sometimes think that being shy equals being introverted, but that’s not true. The introverted person simply enjoys solitude and is not comfortable in social situations. But at the same time, he doesn’t care much about the opinions of others and isn’t afraid to express his own.

The shy person, on the other hand, is filled with nervousness and often would like to get out of himself more, but he can’t. Your sense of personal shame is so strong that it assumes every thing you do or say as an impertinence when there are other people present.

The advantages of being shy

Shyness can cause problems, but it is also a preservation mechanism in many situations. In nature, the boldest and bravest animals get the best prey and the best companions, but they are also the ones that die the fastest and suffer the most atrocious wounds throughout their lives.

Shy people are forced to develop many skills to compensate for their lack of social skills. For example, they are often people who repeatedly analyze what they said and what they heard. This causes them to usually have better memory and language skills, although they generally express it better in writing than orally.

The shy person is also usually someone who can do everything very methodically and with greater concentration than others. They feel so insecure about the result of their actions and their work that they plan and execute them with extreme care. That is why it is common for tasks where there is no time limit to be good performers.

Anyway, if someone is shy to the point of having their quality of life very impaired, this cannot be seen as an advantage. What exists in these cases is unnecessary suffering caused probably by a social phobia. There are many effective treatments to overcome shyness that are worth following when it is synonymous with unhappiness.