When Being Independent Makes You Feel Lonely

Independence is something that many of us strive for. It is in our nature to let go of the ties that bind us to everything we no longer need. Looking for a job, economic independence, the dream of home ownership, maybe our own partner. But what happens when independence makes you feel lonely?

Loneliness is something that many people look for, but for others it is very difficult to live with. This is something people fear when they seek independence. These are two feelings that need to be dealt with.

learn to live in solitude

When we become independent we find ourselves in a house where no one waits for us. A house where silence and solitude reign. This feeling of isolation and abandonment for many is unbearable. What should you do? Find someone who wants to share your life with them.

This often occurs on many occasions on an emotional level. When we don’t know how to live without a partner, when we can’t stand this emotional independence either, we look for the first one who gives us a smile to become part of our life.

We try to fill our lives with something that really completes us.  However, we are not aware that being with someone does not make us whole, this is something we create in our mind. Often, being with someone makes us feel equally empty.

This situation of independence and non-dependence, of emptiness and loneliness, can make us apathetic and unhappy. How can we solve it? It will not be easy…

They teach us that being alone is something negative, but contrary to what many people think, independence is something positive. This contrast is what causes this tension between what we want and what we feel. Between the need for independence and the fear of silence and loneliness.

• Assess your attachments.  We tend to cling to material things and people, becoming almost like a drug addict. We get hurt every time we feel detachment, so we always go back to that “drug” that makes us feel better.
• Connect with your emotions and be aware that there is only one person who will always be by your side: yourself. If independence gives you a negative feeling about being alone, think of it as new learning.
• Enjoy your own company, because many times we don’t know how to be just with ourselves and enjoy a silence and solitude that allow us to get to know each other better, to enrich ourselves! Eating or going to the movies alone can be uncomfortable, but it can benefit you.

By far, of the three things we’ve mentioned, the most impactful is enjoying your own company, especially going to the movies or having a meal alone.

There are many people who do this because they know it’s important to do a lot of things that we normally consider doing with just one company, but with their own company. These people know how to take advantage of their loneliness, they know that going to the movies alone, or going for a walk alone, need not be unpleasant.

There are certain things, like eating or walking, that are unconsciously visualized only in the company of other people. If it is not that way, this already gives us a typical discomfort.

All of this needs to be eliminated so that you can put this advice into practice. Imagine that for work reasons you need to travel to another country where you don’t know anyone. What are you going to do then? Staying locked up at home forever?

If independence makes you feel lonely, don’t look back or look for someone to soothe the emptiness you feel unintentionally. Face this as a new learning experience and learn to like yourself without the need to be accompanied by anyone else.

You can enjoy many things that you thought you could only do in the company of others. Remove it from your mind, start to change and see independence from another point of view.

Images courtesy of Xiu Pen, Art HQ, Stan Lee.