The Mistake Wasn’t Meeting You, It Was Thinking You Were Different

Whoever loves doesn’t make any mistakes, because the act of loving makes us noble, it’s something pure, authentic and instinctive. However, although having loved is not a regret, what hurts is loving someone who doesn’t deserve it, who was never as we believed in the beginning.

Loving the wrong person is a serious mismatch that we rarely come out of unscathed. However, it is necessary to gather strength and gather the embers of our self-esteem to revive it again. We have to be able to refuse to suffer for love, to continue loving what is broken to find our space in loneliness and heal again.

In these times, nurtured by the world of social networks and virtual sites to find a boyfriend/girlfriend, a very particular phenomenon has occurred. There are people who have the feeling that they always fall in love with the wrong person. They continue to believe in love and want, above all, to be able to come to love the right person and, at the same time, feel loved and respected.

To err from time to time in love is almost a law of life. Even if sometimes, between chaos and the unexpected, what we longed for emerges. A mature, conscious and happy relationship. We don’t need to give up hope.  We propose that you reflect on this.

The false expectations that we create and that “make us believe”

We said that at the beginning of the text. Loving can never be a mistake. People breathe, learn, love, cry, laugh and move on. The wheel of life invites us to experience and be part of this intense and beautiful movement where we don’t have to escape our nature, our essences. The problem is, without a doubt, in continuing to love those who don’t love us.

It is often said that  people do not change, that the truth is that they were never what we thought. Well, in a way, we all change a little bit based on certain experiences, yet the roots always remain, always present. Even if sometimes we don’t see them and limit ourselves to creating false expectations that don’t fit with reality .

So does this mean that the responsibility to love those who don’t deserve it is always ours? That we are the naive ones for building castles in the air? No way. An interesting book titled “ The 7 minute marriage solution ” explains that  false expectations in love relationships are created and nurtured in equal parts.

On the one hand, there are those who feed on these “castles in the air” in their eagerness to find happiness, to the point of seeing virtues where there are only more or less camouflaged egoisms. But  there are also those who are avid experts at feeding false expectations.

They do this for very punctual purposes. On the one hand, to avoid loneliness however and with anyone. On the other hand, to guarantee, at times, a disposable relationship, giving hope of something lasting.

Loving is not a mistake, continuing to love the wrong person, yes

We don’t have to live with the bitterness of having loved someone who didn’t deserve it. We should be proud of having loved and having known how to leave it behind. Because loving makes us noble. Knowing how to close a stage makes us wise. Nor should we self-mutilate for having met certain people. Beings who chose to bring us tears, falsehood and blackmail.

To live is to learn and to meet at times with great masters, with skillful artisans of poisoned love. If we overcome them and win them, we will walk with greater aplomb. With greater dignity and aplomb. At the end of the day, we never stop learning in emotional matters, because the best treatment for the wounded soul is the assumption of these vital teachings where only one principle fits:

Loving ourselves above all things. It will always be better to grieve with dignity than to be captive day after day of emotional exploitation  or the blackmail of indifference.

Pablo Neruda said that “ I fell in love with life, because it’s the only thing that won’t leave me without leaving it first ”. Of course, you don’t have to go to these personal extremes, however,  few things are as healthy as clinging tightly to this journey of life that gives us so much and takes so much away from us.

With every mistake we learn and every person leaves us something along the way. The important thing is to move forward remembering that love will always be worth it as long as we don’t forget to attend to the captain of this beautiful ship: ourselves.