Chameleon Personality: The Ability To Mold To One’s Partner

You are sweet, submissive, and leave all the decisions you need to make in your partner’s hands. Not only the most important ones, but also the most insignificant ones, like the foods that should be included in the shopping list. Thus, he turns his partner into his guide, someone whom he follows without hesitation and without planning anything. This is the reality of a chameleon personality.

Anyone who has a chameleon personality sees relationships in an unequal way. Someone submits, someone orders. Therefore,  those who enjoy this personality feel lost when they are with a partner who says “I want to know what you think”  or “we can’t think the same thing, you have to have your own opinion”.

Today we are going to discover, through the story of Samanta, what life is like as a couple for someone who has a chameleon personality. Let’s look at what advantages a person can gain, but also how he loses out.

Samanta’s Chameleon Personality

Since she was a little girl, Samantha was always very indecisive. So much so that she found herself in the situation of being with two men she liked, without being able to choose between one of them. However, something called her attention about herself. It could be a different person depending on who she was with.

André, her lover, was a fanatic about football and risky sports, so Samanta turned into a football lover and an adrenaline lover. Ricardo, her husband, was a serious, elegant lawyer… Samantha behaved with the same elegance and impeccable manners.

Although  Samanta felt disconcerted by her own transformation,  she felt unable to end her relationship with her lover or her husband. However, one day everything changed. Samanta caught Ricardo in the act with a woman who was totally contrary to her and, therefore, to himself. It was cool and lively.

Shattered, fear invaded her. She didn’t end the relationship, but she stopped behaving with Ricardo as she was doing until now. She became passionate, daring, in an attempt to offer him what he was looking for. With this change in attitude, Ricardo began to suspect possible infidelity. On the contrary, with André he began to behave more correctly, seeking stability, something more serious. André got bored with his new personality and way of behaving and started dating other women.

Samantha found herself alone. She had molded herself to the personality of her partners, but after the events and her change, totally unlucky, both relationships ended. Samantha did not understand what happened. His sudden change of attitude caused the two relationships he maintained to end in disaster.

Adapt to your partner’s lifestyle

As we saw in the story of Samanta,  whoever has a chameleon personality always adapts to his partner’s lifestyle,  to his tastes… Definitely, he hides who he truly is to be who the other expects. However, this has advantages and disadvantages.

The advantage of the chameleon personality is that the person gets to have a partner with whom to share absolutely everything. Do the same activities, think alike, and behave perfectly. Also, since you leave all decisions in your partner’s hands, the relationship seems to work wonderfully, harmoniously.

The drawback of the chameleon personality is that it will always show a tendency to please and submit to another person. He will never take the initiative and, in addition, he will always agree with everything. This type of personality can end up wearing out the relationship and the partner can get tired of this attitude, since if the person thinks alike, if he doesn’t take the initiative, if he doesn’t seem to have different tastes, it is possible that the relationship will lose the charm.

A couple does not need to have the same tastes, or feel attracted to the same activities, much less have to change their way of being for each other. The more we are ourselves, the better the relationship will be. Also, if we’re not compatible, that’s fine. It is better to realize it in time than too late.

Anyone who has a chameleon personality seems to want to find someone equal at all costs. Breaking up or being without a partner causes them great fear, so they mold themselves. However, as we have seen, this ends up dooming the relationship.

Being natural, being yourself and having a healthy self-esteem is very important both on a personal and relational level. If we don’t know how to protect our personality and sell it to the best imposter, we may have an insecurity problem.