2 Negative Consequences Of Yelling At Our Kids

Reflecting on the negative consequences of yelling at our children will help us to control and manage our impulses. Analyzing where this behavior comes from and what it causes in the family circle is the key to changing it once and for all.

We all know the importance of raising our children with respect. Also, there are many resources and tools we can use to not punish or yell at them. Still, at times when we feel overwhelmed, we can feel the urge to yell at our children. These situations make us feel guilty, bad parents and frustrated.

However, some parents do not realize the negative consequences that this type of behavior can have. In this article, we’re going to talk about two dangerous consequences for children’s development into adulthood.

1. Yelling at our kids can affect their self-esteem

The screams convey a message of little patience and tolerance. When we get desperate for something, we tend to raise our voices and ask for things by screaming. However, yelling at our children can send the message that they are doing something wrong. That way, although we pretend that they will obey us, they will feel that they don’t live up to our expectations.

When the situation is constant, we give children the wrong idea. They may believe that no matter what they do, they won’t do it right. That we’ll never be satisfied and that they can’t do anything to make us happy. The feeling of “not doing things right” and deserving of the screams will likely accompany our children throughout their lives.

The foundation of our children’s self-esteem comes from outside. Their reference figures, with love and approval, must make them feel that they are capable people. This does not mean that we have to give them false confidence. Sometimes they need to get frustrated. However, it is important that our expectations are in line with your age and knowledge. Above all, we need to realize that our kids aren’t perfect.

Being understanding with our children

It is very common, for example, to yell at our children in the morning when we are in a hurry to take them to school. However, we cannot expect children to do their chores as fast as we do. Its speed will depend on your age and your degree of autonomy; we may have to give them a hand to get there on time.

If we give them little time, or ask them for something above their skill level, it’s normal that they won’t be able to complete their tasks. So we end up screaming, making them feel like they can’t do anything. The message children get in these situations is that we don’t love them because we consider them incapable.

We need to remember that our mission is to help them until they are more autonomous. In this way, we foster real self-confidence. Over time, this can make our children act the right way: respecting their parents, collaborating at home or tidying their room. However, they will not do this out of fear. Their actions will come from understanding their role and believing that they are capable of doing things for themselves.

2. Yelling teaches them to mishandle their emotions

We must be the example of our children. When we scream constantly and lose our temper, it shows that there are situations that burden us. The message we send is that we are not able to control ourselves. Children learn that screaming is an appropriate stress response. They absorb this way of acting and tend to imitate it in the future.

Therefore, it is our responsibility to learn to deal with our emotions. Even if we feel scared, tired or angry, we have to control ourselves in front of the little ones. Yelling at our children about the stress we experience only teaches them that anger is a sufficient motivation to treat other people badly.

It’s not their fault that we feel upset or anguished in our daily lives when faced with some situations. As difficult as it is, it’s important to encourage them to explore and discover who they really are. Our role is to accompany them on their adventures as we face our anguish. We need to find out where our negative emotions come from.

Perhaps we want them to behave as we would like them to behave, not as they really are. Maybe we’re too scared that they’ll suffer or get hurt. However, yelling at our children to protect them or channel their actions is generally not a good idea. It’s better to believe that things will work out because they are able to take care of themselves.

Conclusion

In this article you discovered two of the most negative effects of yelling at our kids.  It is the duty of parents to learn to control their emotions, because this behavior is very detrimental to their children’s development. They can also learn more effective ways to resolve problems and conflicts.

If you’ve ever yelled at your kids, you don’t need to punish yourself for it. Nobody is perfect; the important thing is that, now that you know the serious consequences this way of acting can have, decide to change.