Let’s Not Be For Each Other

“ I’m sorry, but you are not my happiness.  No, you’re not, that’s why I let go. I refuse to put my emotional life in your hands. If you were my happiness, your absence would be my “it’s over” and I would live on a razor’s edge. I don’t want to try to own you, don’t go with me, I don’t care.

My well-being and my personal fulfillment depend basically on me ; others contribute, but the inner process that is configured in my being will not come from the outside, it will not be rendered. It’s a matter of aesthetics. Not only do I want to improve, I want to do it with the artist’s inspiration, as a work I’m proud of.

How boring it is to assume the work of the other. What a difficult, if not impossible, task! I prefer to breathe on my own, walk without crutches and be the way I am. I don’t want to belong to you and I don’t want you to belong to me. Let’s walk together, if we feel like it… but let’s not be the ones who were ‘born for each other’, please.

Psychological well-being or the attempt to be happy requires a personal and non-transferable commitment. It is not something that is given to us, bought or owned by decree: it is non-transferable. And since I’m not for sale, and I hope you’re not either, we have the opportunity to be free.

You don’t define my existence and I don’t define yours; if so, we could not live without each other. You are not my happiness, luckily, nor am I your owner. The best relationship we can have is not belonging to each other. The one who does not have the other respects him, and that is beauty, tenderness and detachment.”

 Text adapted from Walter Riso

The best relationship we can have is not belonging. That is, being and existing. I want to meet you, but at another emotional point. I don’t want us to be for each other, nor the love of our lives. I don’t want to need you, I want to prefer being with you.

I don’t want to love blindly, I don’t want to close my eyes. I want to open them up and see two complete beings, different and not dependent, giving their passion, living moments and collaborating in life.

transforming us into complete beings

I don’t want us to transform or need us. I want to leave the orange halves behind.  You can be an orange, a lemon or a melon. You can be whatever you want, I won’t be the one to ask you to change. The important thing is that we walk together.

Nor do we always need to go hand in hand. Sometimes love ends, I don’t want to see myself squeezing and draining your juice. For that reason, if you want to sunbathe, do it. If you want to peel your skin, peel it off. There’s nothing to talk about.

That’s why we are not one, we are two. We’re not born for each other either; we better not be that. I am for me and you are for yourself.

We all have a lifelong love

We all have a lifelong love: ourselves. Only when I love myself without restrictions, without insecurities and without complexes, will I be able to do the same with you.

If, to be with you, I have to renounce myself, it won’t work. People complain about not being loved, but in reality what happens is that they don’t know how to love.

We live in the eagerness to fill our needs and we don’t realize that true love is what we feel for ourselves.  For that reason, I don’t want us to idealize ourselves; our love will not save us, it will not solve our problems, and it will not offer us emotional stability.

No one can love for you, or grow for you, or smile and breathe. Only you have the power to save yourself and create healthy love, and this is the greatest happiness in the world.

Image credits: La Mecánica del corazón