Some People Argue About Everything, Others Make Us Laugh About Everything

Some people have a knack for untying the knot of all difficulties and making you laugh until your stomach hurts. They are like that because life for these people has music, rhymes and it’s very simple. Meanwhile, others argue for nothing and are offended by everything, they only see walls where we see bridges, bring storms on calm days and meaningless irritations that create distances.

Why are human relationships so complex? We could say that, in our day to day, it is better to avoid those people who like to change our psychological balance to just stick with those who give us joy. However, this basic health principle cannot always be met, because to live together it is necessary to know and understand the perspectives of others and, above all, learn to survive in all environments, whether inhabited by noble beings or angry dragons.

Often those who argue about everything may be going through a depressive process. Other times, those who laugh at everything use aggressive or even self-destructive humor. All types of behavior have their extremes and, above all, their meanings. We need to understand them, we need to be wise readers and translators of these alien worlds that orbit around us, influencing us with their eclipses and tides…

Are those who make us laugh about everything always happy people?

Peter McGraw is a psychologist at the University of Colorado famous for creating the “humor laboratory.” He studied, for example, the impact of humor as a therapy and the use of laughter as a “drug” to improve the quality of life of chronic or cancer patients. Science supports these initiatives, although it has been proven that, more than laughter, what improves the daily life of these patients is their attitude, their optimism and their inner strength.

Furthermore, Dr. McGraw established in his theory the differentiation of 4 types of mood. Because sometimes, many of those people who make us laugh are not always so happy, they are not always the reflection of an adequate inner well-being. It is worth deepening this study to better understand this kind of dynamics we see in our daily lives.

• Aggressive mood. This practice is very common in people who make us laugh through irony and sarcasm, where the objective is to ridicule the other.
• Humor as self-improvement. This type of mood is one of the healthiest as it is very helpful in stress management. It’s when someone is able to laugh at themselves to relativize a bad day, a mistake made, to make fun of a defect that cannot improve or even to end the tension at a given moment.

• Self-aggressive mood. It is undoubtedly the other side of the coin of humor as self-improvement. In this case, aggressiveness is used against oneself, whether because of low self-esteem, depression or because it seeks to victimize itself to get the attention of those around it.
• Affiliative humor. Finally, we have the most life-giving, helpful, and wonderful expressiveness of humor. One who seeks the harmonious relationship between people. It’s the kind of humor of someone that makes us laugh in order to further strengthen the bond between us, to build complicity, to bring happiness, connection and true well-being.

As per the previous classification, it is clear that when we say that someone has a “great sense of humour,” we really need to know what kind of humor they practice and what their impact is on others. We’ve all experienced a moment when someone makes us laugh, but the feeling that comes over us is strange and uncomfortable, as if we’re instantly aware of a malicious shadow.

Do those who argue about everything have fun complicating the lives of others?

Tal Ben-Shahar, a professor of positive psychology at Harvard, is known as the “happiness guru.” His publications on emotions and humor are always an interesting reference when it comes to better understanding certain behaviors, for example, what is behind those people who argue about everything and seem to have so much fun complicating their life and that of others.

The answer is simple: unhappiness. Behind that heartbreaking word we find a kaleidoscope of mismanaged, poorly faced, and unresolved situations. Nobody deserves to experience this abyss. For example: poor ability to tolerate frustration, lack of problem-solving strategies, unrealistic expectations, lack of reflective thinking, low self-esteem, poor emotional intelligence…

We can all go through situations like this, complex moments that end up weakening us. In this way, we start to see problems at every moment, we lower the blinds of our positivity and turn any conversation into a discussion. We can fall into the depths of discouragement and discomfort, all of which is respectable and understandable. However, it is necessary to emerge from these toxic waters to be ourselves again.

To achieve this, we need will and self-control. Do not fall into victimhood, collect the broken pieces as if it were a precise craft, repair every corner with the glue of self-esteem and the varnish of motivation. In this way, we will also understand that not all those who laugh are happy nor those who argue about everything are lost causes. We can all heal ourselves, we can all find balance and happiness.