5 Behaviors That Reveal A Lack Of Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence is an increasingly valued skill. Little by little, it was proven that it is crucial to having a good existence. Those who develop it are more successful in every field of their lives, and on top of that, they are happier.
On the other hand, lack of emotional intelligence brings with it several complications. It doesn’t matter if you are able to decipher a big physics puzzle, if you are ultimately frustrated. What a difference it makes if you can make a lot of money, but in the end you are tied up in anguish or sadness.
Being emotionally intelligent doesn’t mean becoming the nicest or the most popular. This competence actually has to do with self-control and self-confidence. These are attitudes that are cultivated internally, but which are reflected in external behavior and bring with them more assertive actions.
However, some traces of lack of emotional intelligence are quite frequent. You come across them in your daily life, and they belong to both apparently successful people and less so. Below are five of these common traits that denote a lack of emotional intelligence.
Signs of Lack of Emotional Intelligence
1. Stress when someone doesn’t understand what you’re explaining
Some people get very nervous if someone doesn’t immediately understand what they’re being told. The worst thing is that they end up blaming him for it. Sentences like “Is this so hard to understand?” or “Anyone understands this.” In this way, it goes from a tense situation to an aggression.
This trait reveals that the person is very rigid, and probably self-centered. They are the ones who cannot understand that there are different ways to process and assimilate information. Nor do they consider the possibility that their way of explaining is what is failing. They end up hurting in a situation that could be resolved perfectly well with a few minutes of patience.
2. Make fun of others thinking they have to put up with it
There is a big difference between laughing with people and laughing with people. Anyone who has developed their emotional intelligence knows this difference. But not only that, they can also sense when a joke causes discomfort.
If emotional intelligence is not applied, here too many end up blaming others. If they can’t stand the teasing, it’s because they’re “bitter” or hypersensitive. It doesn’t cross your mind that maybe your jokes aren’t actually so funny. Or that offend. Or simply that others are different and don’t have to celebrate all their jokes.
3. Refuse to consider different opinions
Throughout our development, all people conform to what we call a “belief system”. These are ideas that come as much from education as from experiences and from the personality itself. We create a concept of reality that serves as a frame of reference.
However, in some cases, this belief system can also become an armor. In these circumstances, the worldview is not the result of a personal elaboration, but of unresolved neuroses. Therefore, any contrary opinion is seen as a threat, before reflecting on whether it is valid or not.
4. Blaming others because of difficulties
There are difficulties that are strictly individual, but others that are shared by the couple, the team or the family. Sometimes, in these groups, there are people who, when something doesn’t work out, put the responsibility on others.
It is a remnant of child insecurity. The implicated one first thinks that a mistake is a terrible thing. And second, that the goal is to determine who is at fault, not what is failing. If there is greater emotional development, error is seen as a normal thing that, well understood, can be the best stimulus for growth. And instead of looking for the culprits, they look for causes and solutions.
5. Complain about your own work
Most of us spend a good part of our lives at work. It’s a reality we cannot ignore. While it’s not the only aspect of our existence, it’s one that demands the most time and effort, and it’s not good to just see it as a burden.
Any job, no matter how humble or difficult, brings some gain to those who do it. When the conclusion is that it’s a hateful job, which we can’t stand, there’s no reason to stay there. Each one needs to commit to the objective of looking for and finding a job that allows them to evolve in some way.
Emotional intelligence is something that can be developed. For some it is more difficult than for others. But the fact is that all human beings have the right and the duty to seek to live better. So it’s worth our effort to increase the rate of intelligence we put into all our actions.
