Encourage Children’s Autonomy

Few beings are born as dependent as humans. We need a long period of time to be able to walk, feed and be able to relate correctly to everything around us.

We often hear parents talk about the desire for their children to have independence, but on the other hand, many parents are also overprotective. It is essential, however, for proper development, that parents encourage their children’s autonomy.

What do we mean by educating with autonomy?

Obviously, when we talk about the education of children, we cannot demand the same degree of autonomy at all stages of development, since the demand must be coherent with the child’s cognitive moment.

Let’s see in general terms:

– Between a year and a half and three years , one can start working on autonomy, although restricted to the fact of being able to walk and move without help. In language, you must start asking for what is necessary (water, pee…).

– From three to five years old, language develops a lot, and from there we will  encourage models of autonomous behavior so that the child is able to communicate their wishes and needs to people outside the family. On another level, you can begin to demand that you eat alone, sleep alone, wear simple clothes, and buy basic hygiene models. It’s also time to perform small tasks like collecting your toys.

– Between the ages of five and eight , the responsibility starts to turn in more school aspects and social relations. The autonomy achieved in eating, sleeping and personal hygiene and care habits is consolidated. And it starts to demand of him autonomy when playing and establishing his free time, to do his homework. At home, you can expand your basic household tasks: tidying your room, helping to set and remove the table.

– From the age of eight to adolescence , children begin to know themselves, their abilities and mistakes and begin to anticipate consequences. It’s time to start education with full responsibility for schoolwork, leisure planning and household chores.

Models to encourage children’s autonomy

Although it is sometimes an exhausting task, it is necessary to find models that allow the child to be independent and responsible.

Basically we can suggest the following :

– Realistic goals : as we have seen, each age has a series of tasks in which autonomy can be requested, but each child also has its own restrictions.

– Perseverance : in any task related to the education of children, it is necessary to be constant in what you are being asked to do.

– Tasks as play : especially in the early ages, it is necessary to encourage rather than impose, and play can be one of the best tools.

– Create routines : especially for independence in eating habits, sleep and hygiene, it is necessary that the routine is present to give your child security in what to do.

– Reflection on mistakes and successes : as the child grows, the importance of communication also grows.

– Emotional support : helping them to overcome their fears, recover from their frustrations when something goes wrong, and praise them when they do, is critical.

In short, autonomy is an important aspect of the personality to be encouraged for the child to develop properly.

Image courtesy of Mewd.