Adopted Children And The Need To Know Their Origins

There are many adoptive children who, after adolescence, need to know their biological origins. The International Adoption Act of December 28, 2007 reminds that all adopted children, as well as those conceived through assisted reproduction techniques, are entitled to receive this information when they reach the age of majority.

However, many face problems doing this. There are many who see their origins as blank paper, an empty report that answers little or nothing. Cross-country adoptions, for example, tend to be a little more complex in this regard, and it’s not easy for a person to know their parents’ identity.

We know that those who managed to get in touch with their origins have higher satisfaction rates. In addition, they feel even more connected to their adoptive family. It’s as if, by knowing where we came from and where our origins are, our identity was traced more clearly.

Adoptive children and the construction of their identity

Knowing who we are means, in many cases, understanding where we came from. It doesn’t matter that we are adopted and that the family that raised us is loving. The vast majority of adoptive children usually ask about their origins at 13 or 14 years old. It is clear that this is a delicate moment – ​​but also expected – on the part of parents.

Note that there are many types of adoptions. There are children who come to the adoptive family at an advanced age and who have lived with their biological parents. Others come to a new home like babies born in another country.

There are children who are the result of assisted reproduction or surrogacy. However, far beyond the methods or mechanisms to reach a specific home are the emotional needs of these children. Knowing where they come from means entering new territory that is not free from certain fears.

Understanding where they come from is part of your personal development.

The Canadian Pediatric Society published a study a few years ago in the journal Pediatrics & Child Health. She defended the hypothesis that, to the extent that the child develops their self – concept and identity, it needs to know more. Knowing they are adopted often opens a gap that makes it difficult to create a positive self-image.

Children who were adopted as infants need to know their origins as much as those who were adopted at a certain age. However, according to this study, the cases in which, after suffering abandonment from the family of origin, they were adopted by the current parents are more complicated.

In these cases, they show ambivalent feelings. But even in these situations, they need to get in touch with their roots. It is a way to integrate these figures from the past to your current present to have a more complete vision of themselves and build their identity.

Do families have an obligation to reveal to the adopted child their origin?

Do adopted children have a right to know they are adopted? Research works, such as those carried out at the University of Cambridge, indicate that, nowadays, most parents end up informing children about their biological origins. It is true that there are those who choose not to, especially in the case of assisted reproduction.

Given this fact, it is important to highlight something. There are data and several reports that, in many cases, children end up discovering their adoptive origin or that they were born through the insemination of a donor. The fact that they did not know it before from their own parents creates psychological anguish. (Jadva, Freeman, Kramer and Golombok, 2009; Turner and Coyle, 2000).

How do you act when your child asks to meet your biological family?

Adopted children are fully entitled to know their origin. This stage facilitates the construction of your identity and the bond with your own family is more positive when there is full trust. However, it is true that each case has its peculiarities and not always getting a meeting with the biological parents is easy or quick.

The most appropriate is to provide good communication, support and guidance to adoptive children. Currently, there are several agencies that can be contacted for this information. The ideal is to start this search for biological origins when the teenager has adequate maturity and emotional stability.

It’s possible that what he finds doesn’t live up to your expectations. For this reason, it is necessary that parents accompany him in this process and be mentally prepared for any situation. There are also specialized professionals who can guide you in this type of experience. In any case, parental love and trust are key at all times.