For Those Who Are Only Looking To Create Discord, Use Silence

There are certain times in life when some people just try to create discord. Faced with this uncomfortable situation, the best thing to do is to use silence, move away from the discomfort and relax.

Often those who are bothering us try to upset us and make us angry. However, it is best not to feed this situation and create a huge bubble of calm. This is not easy to do, but it is possible and, above all, very beneficial.

Everyone has certain strategies that, more or less effective, they use in this type of situation. However, it is always important to have a great anti-stress bag that allows us to create for ourselves divine temples of silence and calm in difficult situations.

Learning to step back and relax in times of contention

There is a lot of talk about educating our children to relax, but recommendations for adults usually shine through their absence. Thus, it is assumed that we are skilled at this and that if we do not control ourselves in front of those who seek to create discord, it is because we do not want to.

There is nothing more wrong. We need to re-educate ourselves to control our emotions and manage these moments and what they trigger. So, we can give small brushstrokes on how to work with our emotions:

• It is wise to count to ten, twenty or whatever it takes.
• We can make an effort to distract ourselves with what we have at hand.
• It is very helpful to focus on yourself and observe how the emotions that arise that are meant to create discord manifest themselves.
• Moving away from this situation and re-evaluating it from afar is very important.

• Staying active and playing a sport frequently is key to staying calm.
• Learning some form of relaxation and breathing technique through disciplines such as yoga, pilates or mindfulness can save us from getting out of control on many occasions.

Assertiveness, the key to fighting petty intentions

When we talk about using silence, we don’t mean to say that we should be passive in front of whoever is bothering us. In fact, the key is to be assertive to be able to handle the situation. For this it is essential to start by relaxing, as with an altered emotional state it is likely that we will not be able to express our feelings accurately and in moderation, as anger will be overpowering us.

Because only we are responsible for how we act and how we feel. Let’s review a brief history to understand that only what we let affect us will affect us:

“João was walking with his father towards the newsstand where he bought the newspaper every day. When they arrived, they greeted the owner politely, who was in a bad mood as he was every day.

The latter responded to them quickly and dismissively. João’s father, as he picked up the newspaper that the other had grudgingly thrown at him, smiled and wished him a good weekend. When they both returned to the path, the boy asked his father:

– Does he always treat you so badly?

– Yes, unfortunately.

– And you always put yourself so kindly?

– Yes, exactly.

– And why are you so kind when he is so unsympathetic to you?

– Because I don’t want him to decide how I should act.

The fully human person is the one who manages to be himself. He is an actor in his own life, not a re-actor in front of what others say or do. Act out of your own convictions, not in reaction to how you act or what others expect.

Text adapted from Sydney Harris

Nurturing our ability to express our own will without regret is very important to be able to calmly relate and gain distance to analyze the intentions of those people who generate discord.

Being able to stand up straight and put a wall of silence between us and the bad attitudes of others is a costly learning process, but it will undoubtedly bear the fruits we need in the long run: asserting our own will to boost our own self-esteem, determination and self-love.