How To Deal With Loneliness In Motherhood?

In general, society has a very romantic idea of ​​what motherhood is. Many people mistakenly think that the arrival of a child is the most fulfilling stage for a woman. Many assume that this is a time of joy and satisfaction and that their very presence automatically gives meaning to life. So it’s not surprising that many women feel confused and guilty about experiencing loneliness in motherhood.

While motherhood is undoubtedly a beautiful and rewarding experience, not everything is as idyllic as it may seem. Therefore, it is necessary to give visibility to the less pleasant side of being a mother, to the challenges and difficulties that this implies. Among them, we can mention the feeling of loneliness that the mother may experience during her child’s early childhood.

a lonely transition

A person’s life changes radically when he has a child. The mother’s body changes and emotions intensify and become unstable due to the hormonal flow. To all this, the psychological stress that the adoption of this new role  can entail must be added . A role that, on many occasions, almost eliminates the rest of the roles that make up a person’s identity.

Suddenly, it seems that the woman is no longer a wife, daughter, friend or professional. She is just a mother, full time and practically alone. Your child needs her all the time and depends on her to maintain his physical and emotional integrity.

Despite the fact that the mother can have the father’s help and the support of her relatives, in the end, it is she who spends 24 hours a day at home with her baby. 

Lack of sleep, physical and emotional exhaustion and  the lack of adult company for most of the time can make the mother feel the weight of motherhood. A weight that no one told her about and for which she can feel tremendously guilty.

How is it possible for a woman to feel so sad, listless, and overwhelmed. Shouldn’t she feel elated? Why doesn’t she feel fulfilled having a child?

The feeling of loneliness is extremely common in mothers during the first years of their children’s lives. Taking on most of the creation and doing it alone can significantly damage your mood. For this reason, it is important to inform women of the existence of this problem and provide resources to mitigate its effects.

How to reduce the feeling of loneliness in motherhood?

First, forget about guilt. You don’t need to feel good and fulfilled all the time after your child is born. All your emotions are valid, you have the right to feel and express them. However, try to understand where they come from, as this will be the way to resolve them.

Just because you feel exhausted or lonely doesn’t mean you don’t love your child or that you’re a bad mother. It’s just a warning that maybe you need some time to regain some of your identity. Remember that you are a human being of great value, with many other bright and pleasing facets in addition to the role of mother.

So don’t be afraid to ask for help, delegate and turn to your loved ones to partially lighten your load. Allow other people to take care of the housework or help with the baby’s care so that you have time to take a shower, walk or talk with your friends.

Your child’s early years can absorb your time, and you may end up neglecting your self-care and relegating your happiness to last place.

However, remember that you cannot take care of your child if he is not well. He needs a happy, calm and satisfied mother. You will feel more willing to take care of him having  certain spaces to take care of his physical and mental health.

The feeling of loneliness in motherhood is common, but it is not insurmountable. Try to connect with other adults and prioritize when possible. The last thing being a mother should make you feel is that you’re stuck.