How To Improve Self-esteem After A Breakup?
A divorce is one of the most stressful situations we can live in, as it involves a re-adaptation to a new lifestyle without the sentimental partner. Given this, many may ask: how to improve self-esteem after a separation?
It’s important to be aware of how we perceive ourselves so that we don’t end up describing ourselves in a negative way, comparing ourselves to others, convincing ourselves that we’re unhappy being alone, or allowing hopelessness to overtake us.
Thus, a separation implies assuming that the life project we had no longer exists and that, therefore, we have to face a new reality. A reality in which we must take the reins to embark on a new path, in which strength will become our fundamental pillar to advance.
Because of this, we want to recommend some advice so that you know how to improve your self-esteem after a breakup. In this way, the recovery and reconstruction process will be smoother and more positive.
The importance of improving self-esteem after a breakup
After a breakup, it’s normal to keep thinking about the other, especially if we’re talking about a relationship that had years of living together. Furthermore, although the separation was a change for the better, it is still a grieving process that we have to go through in all its phases. However, once it is overcome, we can begin to think about the common activities, the shared moments, and the positive aspects of the old sentimental partner.
After the first few weeks, it is very common for our memory to deceive us and we start to remember the most positive details of the relationship. In this way, doubts will appear about having taken the best decision or not. At this point, it is critical that we are able to move forward, because to improve self-esteem, we must be able to let go of the past.
Closing this step will help you improve your self-esteem because it will allow you to think about the future, about your personal projects, about the aspects you want to improve about yourself and, especially, it will help you to value your personality.
If you can leave the relationship behind, rather than devoting your time and emotions to thinking about what went wrong, you can think about what you want to have in life from now on. This feeling of empowerment is an overdose of self-esteem.
reconnect with yourself
Another of the necessary steps to improve self-esteem after a breakup is to reconnect with yourself, that is, pay attention, listen and meet your personal needs. For that, first of all, you have to do a self-knowledge exercise that allows you to identify how you define yourself and how you see yourself.
For example, you can get a paper and a pen to write down what adjectives come to mind when you think about yourself. If it’s hard to think of words to define yourself, you can use a list of personal traits adjectives and choose 5 positives and 5 negatives that define you.
It’s not just about looking at the positive side of your personality and trying to kid yourself that you don’t have any faults. You also need to accept the negatives and think about which ones you want to change.
Another idea to improve self-esteem is to think of 3 skills that you find it easier than others. Surely you excel at something, no matter how small: write it down and remember it each day when you get up in the morning. In this way, you will do an association exercise between getting up and remembering your qualities and abilities.
Take care of your health, appearance and routine
Another key aspect to improve self-esteem after a separation is personal care, both physical and psychological. In this sense, the first step is to take care of your health. If because of separation, or because of the stress prior to this situation, you didn’t have time to have a complete medical exam, now is the perfect time.
Another highlight is the care of your appearance. To improve your self-esteem after a breakup, you have to see in the mirror the person you want to be, that is, have positive reinforcement when looking at yourself. Therefore, taking a few minutes during the day to take care of your appearance is very important. Consider that self-esteem also depends on how we see ourselves; in other words, whether we like us or not.
On the other hand, it is very important that you create a new routine and put your life in order, as self-esteem can be damaged by the chaos resulting from the process of adapting to the new situation after the end. Knowing that you lead an organized life will make you feel better, and it will give you back the feeling of being a competent and independent person.
Finally, you need to trust the power to regain your self-esteem, improve your personal qualities, and be clear that you are one of your most important priorities.
Separations often bring additional problems, such as child custody, moving, changing schedules and routines, and people immerse themselves in all of this for the good of the family. This way of working is not bad, but it should be done without neglecting yourself.
After all, if you devote all your efforts to those around you, you fail to dedicate yourself to yourself and, at some point, your strength will diminish, and you may no longer be available when others need you.
However, if the situation gets complicated and you feel that you are unable to recover, a psychologist can help you both improve your self-esteem and regain it. Ask for help if you feel it’s needed, and trust that everything is possible with dedication and effort.
