If You Settle For Crumbs, You Will Always Be Fragile And Hungry

Crumbs allow you to survive, jumping from one place to another through time. They allow you to go on living, but they only sustain you, dragging down your self-esteem and your hopes. There are many people settling for crumbs who have great sensitivity and talent, and many people enjoying the whole cake without the slightest suspicion of decency and feelings.

If there weren’t people who settle for crumbs, there wouldn’t be people full of ego and self-indulgence, or at least there wouldn’t be so many so easily. These are people who complement each other by creating toxic relationships: the sadist with the masochist, the selfless worker and the exploiting boss, the prudent father and the son transformed into a “little tyrant”.

Do you think that these models that turned into dichotomies to be able to relate in the most comfortable and easy way came out of nowhere? Do you think some of us are born willing to settle for crumbs and others are able to eat the whole cake every time?

Logically, this is not so. Neither phrenology showed that blacks had a brain with cracks that predisposed them to submission, nor did whites have a brain structure that made them masters and thus rulers.

The ability doesn’t reveal itself and the result is self-esteem cornered and diminished by fears that are really just shadows, smoky thoughts that have no parallel account at all, except the currents imposed by the people who have them.

The crumbs to survive today

Our crumbs to survive today are tomorrow’s hunger and uncertainty. It’s not easy to detect when you’re getting crumbs and when you’re getting what makes you feel strong and whole. Let us assume the case of a woman who seeks love and constantly runs into men who lie and who, furthermore, ignore her, granting them an irrelevant role in their lives.

This woman values ​​love, feeling accompanied, the intimacy of hugs. Need a dose of this to “keep taking”. However, she gives so much and settles for so little that in the end she finds none of it. He finds a kiss among hundreds of scorns, hears a beautiful phrase after a large number of facts that contradict it, and is sleeping with someone he knows less every day.

Think that loving without asking for anything in return is different from giving yourself without limit, until you are dry and exhausted, with nothing positive to compensate. Until you end up in a situation where you don’t even have burning nails to cling to.

You don’t need to make a contract to know how much you’re willing to lose each time. It is not about predicting possible damages and losses. Your self-esteem needs eyes wide open, ears that listen intelligently and a memory that knows how to relate what you’ve just experienced with what you don’t want to happen again.

Your self-esteem is not made with crumbs

Your self-esteem is not content with crumbs because that is not how it is formed. Your self-esteem is content with empathy, assertiveness, and the ability to be independent. Wounded self-esteem is like a paid worker in a totally mediocre way. Working hours non-stop, without even the possibility of living a decent life.

Giving it all away, enduring contempt or putting up with indifference to please will never get you anywhere. This transforms us into a subsidiary element of emotions, into someone who lives the romance, enduring 90% of the time its comings and goings and 10% its positive side, to later become a 100% exhausted person. Without the strength or self-esteem to look for something that really fills her.

If you want to have your self-esteem protected and your life plans in sight and not adrift, don’t let others give you crumbs and see how you conform and even be grateful for it, because maybe you’ve come to think that it’s the only thing you can aspire to.

The result is a vicious circle: when a relationship ends you will always be fragile and hungry, settling for the crumbs here and there, never being able to taste the whole cake because you have convinced yourself that you don’t deserve it and others believed it. And they seem to love it, for your comfort and your game. In the face of crumbs, indifference.