People With Good Self-esteem Are Like That…

People with good self-esteem are often defined by behavioral traits that allow them to live healthier lives. They are not made of a special material, they are nothing different from the rest. They are, in fact, men and women who, at a given moment, decided to strengthen their values (consciously or unconsciously) and apply a more nutritious approach to themselves, gaining well-being.

If we say right now that self-esteem is the key to our survival, probably more than one person will think this is an exaggeration. However, actually, it’s no exaggeration at all.

In his day, Carl Rogers defined this dimension as the core of personality. Psychotherapists and recognized experts on the subject, such as Nathaniel Branden, understand self-esteem as a human need that contributes to the healthy process of life in each of its stages.

Positive self-esteem brings back control of our reality. On the contrary, in the face of impaired self-esteem, courage and confidence vanish, identity wears out and we are susceptible to violent attacks from our surroundings.

We all somehow know what it’s like not to develop this psychological muscle. The good news is that we are facing a dimension that can be trained, cared for and strengthened. It doesn’t matter our age or the moment we are. It’s always a good day to repair that inner muscle that fuels life.

What are people with good self-esteem like?

Just a few months ago, the Michigan State University of Psychology, in the United States, carried out an interesting study on self-esteem. The director of this work, Dr. Brent Dollentan, found that people with good self-esteem reach older ages with a remarkable quality of life. They have happier relationships, stronger health, are more respectful, and enjoy their work and free time more intensely.

Furthermore, an interesting fact revealed by this study is that, on average, people aged 60 years have better self-esteem than the younger population.

Somehow, part of the expert community on the subject wants to draw attention to the following aspect: our teenagers and young adults have a certain penchant for this psychological resource. So let’s see what approaches can be applied.

People with good self-esteem have a more humble attitude

This data is important. It is common for people to have a prejudiced idea about the subject every time we talk about self-esteem. It’s not really about developing high, strong self-esteem. As surprising as it may seem, excessive doses of self-esteem imply narcissistic behavior.

Therefore, healthy self-esteem is one that knows how to be humble. It is one that cultivates a close, flexible attitude, capable of behaving in a simple way, valuing and paying attention to what really matters.

feel competent

Albert Bandura, famous social psychologist, defined a term that we should apply in our daily lives: self-efficacy. Feeling that we are not only competent at things, but that we are also capable of learning from our mistakes to overcome ourselves and grow is, without a doubt, an exercise in wisdom and personal growth.

Self-efficacy sustains self-esteem, welcomes and gives strength, encouragement and impulse to do things, ignore criticism and those classic phrases like: “You won’t make it” or “This is not for you”.

no longer afraid

People with good self-esteem let go of that presence that limited their lives, their steps, their desires: fear. We know that fear is the emotion that guarantees our survival, but sometimes we give too much power to fears that are not useful and that are projected by others. Having good self-esteem means, among other things, applying the following personal approach:

• Don’t be afraid to tell the truth when it’s necessary, even if we may disappoint others by doing so.
• It implies, at the same time, rationalizing the irrational fears that prevent us from showing ourselves to the world exactly as we are. So, dressing as we wish, doing activities we enjoy, and building the life we ​​dream of are things we do when we finally let go of fear.

Take responsibility for what they say and do

Another of our aspirations to reach the peak of self-actualization, as Abraham Maslow would say, is to be coherent. Consistent between what we say and what we do — being responsible for everything we do and the possible consequences that may arise.

People who exercise self-esteem on a daily basis make use of a high responsibility. They understand that they only own their destiny and their reality. Every mistake made derives from itself. Every triumph and achievement achieved is the result of one’s own effort.

The past no longer exists, the future hasn’t happened yet: the present is everything

To train our self-esteem muscle, we need to focus on the present moment. Daniel Goleman, in his book Foco,  encourages us to exercise our attention: thanks to it, we detect what is truly important in each moment. Things like that are the key to taking care of this psychological good, because if we don’t, we can get stuck in yesterday’s wounds, past failures, or future anxieties.

Being strong implies being an active agent of the present, someone who moves through life knowing what he wants and which direction to follow. People with good self-esteem, moreover, do not follow their followers, nor do they get carried away, nor dragged, nor convinced of what does not fit their values. They think and decide for themselves, and they do it without fear because they understand that to be happy it is necessary to make decisions that, sometimes, don’t please everyone. How about thinking about it?