Silencing Emotions Poisons The Soul
You know you need to talk, but hold back. You know there is something inside you that struggles to get out, but you don’t let it. You are afraid of being rejected, afraid of showing yourself vulnerable, feelings of shame that make you rethink what you are feeling… However, you are not aware that silencing our own emotions poisons the soul.
In the end this attitude will end up repeating itself. You feel between “yes” and “no” every time you need to express what you feel. How many times have you felt guilty about not being brave enough to allow the words to flow unrestrictedly from your mouth? How many times have you regretted not letting out what your soul screams? Maybe it’s time to take this phrase that we all know, but that we prefer to ignore, more seriously: “whoever swallows a lot, in the end drowns”.
Silencing our own emotions comes at a price.
As children we are taught to silence our emotions. We start holding back tears when they need to come, we start not saying what we really feel because others may reject us, and rejection brings bitterness and pain. Fear starts to settle in us in the form of a gag to our emotions and our feelings.
Anger, anger, and sadness are negative emotions that we have learned to contain because showing them makes us stand out, projecting the image that we are human beings unable to control ourselves. On the other hand, love, hugs, or saying “I love you” are positive emotions that we also silence. Whether for fears that we have been carrying since our earliest childhood, or for that feeling of shame, sometimes so useless, that haunts us everywhere.
However, to do this is to go against our own nature. We are emotional beings. As much as we wish not to feel, however much we silence our emotions, they will remain there. You can try as hard as you like to shut up, but sooner or later your body will react. Those tears, those words that you hold back, will somehow come up without you being able to do anything to prevent them.
You are using your body as a container into which you pour all that you feel but refuse to express. Suddenly you are not able to explain why you feel so physically ill, why depression and anxiety have set in, or why insomnia and dissatisfaction are starting to erase the hope and desire you had before you do certain things. Your body starts to alert you that something is not right.
voice your feelings
Silence is always spoken of as a trait of wisdom that allows us to know how to listen to others, as well as to ourselves. It can help us hear our own body, how it’s reacting, what we need. However, in the end, it is important to voice your feelings.
Similarly, it’s critical not to ignore a truth: saying and expressing what gnaws at you doesn’t necessarily mean hurting others. The fact is, in expressing our own negative emotions, we sometimes get carried away by the energy of all that has accumulated, and then we can do significant harm. Therefore, controlling emotions is easier when you don’t have a large pool of accumulated emotions to dampen down.
A good way to sort out both our positive and negative feelings is to write. Doing this gives us pleasure, a kind of release. But be careful! Don’t stay there and keep silencing your emotions. Putting your irritation or affection on paper will never replace the very act of verbalizing it: the warmth of a blank sheet will never be the same as human warmth.
On the other hand, taking charge of the emotions and feelings of others can add to your own emotional charge. You already have enough with yours, don’t seek to shelter any more. Stop living constantly with this need to speak, but with the thought of being silent. You will not feel free, but condemned.
In your attempt to get control of your emotions, you will end up losing control. They command, will expose themselves in one way or another. Silencing our emotions is neither natural nor beneficial to our health. Remember that “whoever feels wins, even if he loses”.
Images courtesy of Kristin Vestgard.
